Chat GPT Made Me Cry

Chat GPT made me cry this morning.

Yep. It’s true. Just me, my couch, my computer, and 5am tears.

I’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately and I could not figure out why. Life is actually slowing down. I am transitioning into my dream career. Things are good. So why do I still feel unsettled?

Make it make sense.

I’ll admit it. I am like 99 percent of America and use Chat GPT as my therapist way more than I probably should. I know it is not actually a therapist. I know professional help exists for a reason. But sometimes I just need a coach in my ear. Someone to challenge my thoughts. And Chat is good for that.

So this morning I just started typing. No filter. Just dumping how I felt.

I told her I feel all over the place. Like this job transition feels like the boat is sinking but I have not had time to fully blow up my floaties. Dramatic? Maybe. But that is what it feels like.

I told her how I have been waking up at 4am for my journal, devotional, and Bible study. And how part of me has been considering quitting that because I feel like it is taking up my productive time.

Read that again.

I was considering cutting my quiet time with the Lord… to be more productive.

She asked me one question:

“If you kept your 4am ritual and did nothing extra today except what’s already planned, what’s the actual worst outcome?”

I responded:

“Literally nothing life or death other than I just did not move the needle an extreme bit, only a little bit.”

And that is when she got me.

“You are addicted to momentum.
When you feel like you’re accelerating, you feel safe.
When you feel like you’re maintaining, you feel behind.
If God told you, ‘Keep filling your cup. I will handle the runway,’ would you still try to cut your quiet time to do more? Or is this anxiety trying to override trust?”

Tell me why that one statement hit me in the chest.

Because it is true.

Why am I trying to cut out time with the One who literally outlines my steps… in the name of productivity? As if my extra hour is what determines the outcome of my life.

I say I trust Him.
But do I actually trust Him when things slow down?
Do I trust Him when I am not sprinting?

I can still move the needle. I can still work hard. I can still build and create and show up.

But I do not get to sacrifice my peace for progress.

And maybe this season is not about acceleration.
Maybe it is about alignment.

Maybe maintaining is not falling behind.
Maybe maintaining is maturity.

I do not need to cut my quiet time.
I need to guard it.

Because if the runway is already being handled, then my only job is to stay grounded enough to walk it when it appears.

And that realization?
Yeah. That made me cry.

If you have been feeling behind lately, maybe you are not behind.
Maybe you are just being invited to trust a little deeper.

I am sitting with that today. And honestly, I needed it.

XO - EmBraz